Link for the New Blog

Hello, a tiny little post telling you that this is my link for the new blog so feel free to check it out: http://alittlekiran.blogspot.co.uk/

Thank you so much.

Kiran xxxx

MY NEW AND BASICALLY ONLY BLOG

Hey there, I haven't posted in a while, because I wanted to redesign my blog and I have and I also changed the name it is now called alittlekiran. This is just a short announcement letting you know that all my blog posts will be on that website from now on. Please check it out it will be in a very similar vein. I just wanted to start again. So yes, check it out let me know what you think. That would be great. Thank you very much.

Kiran xxxxx

Tips For Freshers: Essentials for University

It's that time of year again where everyone seems to be abuzz with first year jitters. It is undeniably daunting to move away from home to live with people you have never met before in your life, it is perfectly normal to be scared, maybe even petrified beforehand, but trust me when I say this: a week into university or college or that new school and you'll already have good friends. Just remember that university is not like school, you won't just see these people in classes you'll see them all the time. You'll live with them, go to their parties, have dinner with them, have kitchen dance parties, play humiliating and amusing drinking games. The first week of your freshman year will cement friendship bonds stronger than the Terminator, it forges unbreakable ties and you'll have a tonne of fun, amusing memories and anecdotes. It will be one of the best years of your life. 

I know you're scared, but admit it deep down you are excited too, after all this is a chance to reinvent yourself, to finally be the person you have always wanted to be: cool, perfect, witty, optimistic and all that jazz. Fuck that. It's not worth it, it takes far too much effort and who says there is anything wrong with you anyway? You're fabulous. Know it. I know that when I started my first year I wanted to be the total opposite of me and I arrived with my contacts in, skinny jeans and new shoes. I had a fantastic first day, even though on the ride over I kept wringing my hands with stress and had to turn up the music really loud to distract myself. Taylor Swift, very distracting. Everything turned out fine of course, but this perfect image I wanted to convey soon shattered. It's like being in the Big Brother House, it's too exhausting putting on a charade so I mean it when I say be you. It's easier and it's definitely better.

Now those two things are out the way, I thought I would knock out another list for you lovelies to help with the anxiety you must be feeling and give you a heads up about what is to come.

1. Have a current account, which basically translates into using your card in shops to buy things, it's so much easier than looking for a cash machine constantly and it is much more conducive to student life.

2. You absolutely need a valid ID, I do not care how old you look or if you don't drink or buy alcohol, if you're with a friend at the supermarket and they want a six pack of Strongbow, they won't get served unless you both have ID. And you're going to feel like a dick. Plus, you don't have to drink to go out, and yes I promise you can still have a good time.

3. It's your first day and everyone is nervous, do yourself a favour to limit the stress pick out an outfit beforehand, something you feel attractive yet comfortable in, maybe layered as you'll get hot unpacking all your things. First impressions do go a long way so just think about how you want to be perceived, don't go crazy and buy a whole new outfit and skincare regime, simply be you on a good day and not a bad day.

4. Be open to new experiences. I'm not talking about threesomes, it's just for many of you this might be your first time away from home and although sometimes that can be sad it also means a lot more freedom. You can now do some things you couldn't before, you can invite a bunch of random people over to your room to play Ring of Fire for instance, you can have chilli-eating contests at five in the monring and you can walk to Tesco to get Pringles at whatever time of night you wish, usually drunk with three of your closest flatmates. 

5. People absolutely will steal your food. So can all the whiny messages on facebook and just steal there's too, as far as you are concerned all food in the kitchen is communal. Except in people's cupboards, come on now, we're not animals.

6. Make your room your own, if you are anything like me you will miss your family way more than you imagined, so your room should be your little safe haven away from everybody else. Personalise it with photos of your family and friends from back home, have a wallplanner so you can organise deadlines and assignment and exams in between socialising and just generally having fun.

7. If you can see your family, do. I only live about an hour away so I try and go home at least once a term, to catch up with everybody and just to have a break from people. It can get claustrophobic as you will see these people so often so it is important to have a break now and then and to just get away and give yourself time to miss them instead of just missing home. Plus the food at home is so much better.

8. Don't be afraid to spend time by yourself, you shouldn't force yourself to be social, everyone needs their "me" time where they can do stuff they would never do in public. Put on a face mask and pig out in your rattiest pyjamas and about seven blankets watching your favourite shows. It will always make you feel better. 

9. Be nice, approachable and engage, the only way people can get to know you is if you participate, play whatever games that are being played, Never Have I Ever is always a good one.  

10. Easy to cook fast food is your friend, something you stick in an oven for 20 minutes and is done. That is what you want. That and friends who cook culinary masterpieces. 

That's really all I have to say for now, as I think of more things I will definitely add to the list and add some awesome pictures that illustrate my points. Just remember you will make friends, you will have a good time and you will learn a lot about yourself. Just because you have finished school it doesn't mean you have life all figured out, you're still dabbling and trying things out, maybe you'll realise uni is not for you, or your interests lie in a different course or maybe you're finding it really hard being away from home or the course may be a struggle academically. It's hard to adjust but it will happen without you noticing and if you need anything, advice or just someone to talk to feel free to contact me. I would be happy to listen and hopefully make you feel better. Have an amazing year guys, thank you for reading and see you soon. 

Lots of love,

Kiran xxxx

My Absence and Apologies

Hello, I haven't posted much recently and I feel I should explain. I am terribly sorry but it's been a tough time for both me and my family as just a few days ago my uncle passed away. He was my Mom's brother and in my culture I would call him Mama so that's what I am going to refer to him by, as to me calling him uncle sounds impersonal. He was a great man and loved by many. He was sick for a long time, five years ago we were given forty eight hours and look how much longer he survived. That's proof their that he was a fighter.

Although, given the nature of his condition it shouldn't be a shock that he's no longer with us, it still is a massive blow to the system. I can't imagine going to my cousin's house and him not being there cracking jokes, taking the piss and bemoaning his restricted diet. It hasn't fully sunk in. 

Even though I myself am not crazily close to him I didn't see and speak to him every day but he was still in my thoughts as were his family and I think I took it for granted that he would survive this illness. He had already for an incredible amount of time. He wasn't perfect I know plenty of people who could attest to that he hurt people and sometimes even treated people badly but I have no doubt that he helped a lot more. He managed to stay positive right to the end which shows how brave and lovely he was. Because even though he was in so much pain I know he never let the true extent of his suffering show with thought for his family. He always put them first and for that he will always have my unconditional respect. And now that he's gone my family isn't complete anymore, all future occasions his absence will register and make people sad. It breaks my heart to see my grandparents cry they are such amazing people and they have lost their son. I can't think of anything more unnatural. And seeing his family and the way they are coping is making my throat tight. I love them all and hope sincerely that my Mama is now watching over us and enjoying his next life. 

The next few weeks will be dedicated to him so I won't be posting much, his funeral is on Saturday and I don't think I will be up to much chatting about my purchases and stuff. I am sorry if I am letting you down. I hope to get back to this soon as we all know life moves on and you can't dwell on everything bad that happens he wouldn't want that and neither do I. Thank you for understanding. 

My New Obsession

So I haven't been posting a lot lately and this is all due to discovering all these crazily awesome apps on my new iPhone and also in part looking for cute little cases for said iPhone. I have about twenty saved on my shopping feed, I am being good and have decided to wait until my next installment o the beautiful thing which is student finance. I have a while to wait unfortunately. But in the meantime I favourite new discovery and consequent obsession is Instagram, unless you have been living under a rock for the last few years or have no Internet access or technology whatsoever which in that cases you wouldn't even be reading this, I assume you know what Instagram is. And if you don't you should because its awesome. I can't fully encapsulate in words the joy it brings me to find a filter for my photos, it makes me insanely happy and can completely transform an otherwise ordinary photograph. Don't get me wrong there is a lot of people on there that bore the total crap out of me but apart from that its quite a fun distraction. I frequently find myself on trains so instead of casually playing Subway Surfer, which is another of my obsessions, it's quite easy to kill time perfecting your latest picture and thinking of hash tags. Who knew hashtags would be so marketable and transferrable in social media? 

I warn you all though, it is hopelessly addictive, and you don't get judgement for people when you start taking photos of the most inconsequential things but I say screw them. The older generation can suck it, I was in Asda yesterday and I was taking a Snapchat to send to one of my close friends all is wanted was to say that she had sent me the same snap thrice so I took a picture of the closest thing which was a bowl of quite tasty pasta and the cooks in the cafe were flabbergasted and thought I was retarded most likely, I just glared at them for their judging eyes and hopefully they will be more accepting in the future. So as long as you are prepared to put up with that you'll be fine, my friend I was with at the time wittily and yet quite harshly told me no to worry about it we won't have to deal with their judgement when the older technophobic generation die out, that felt a tad mean though but I suppose she has a point.

Anyway so this post is basically to shamelessly broadcast my account. And gig you a snapshot of my pictures but also to find another way to interact with you guys. I still am not entirely sure if any of you read this blog as you all firmly refuse to comment or reach out to me in any way. However, everyone and their son has an Instagram account as far as I am aware so if you follow me or comment below with your Instagram name I would happily follow you and check out your pictures I would love to see your accounts if you have one. Thank you for reading again and her is a look at my account. Lots of love. 

I have bought a lot of stuff recently and I am going to start selling some stuff I never wear or no longer wear on eBay, I am a size 8 so I will do a post of what I plan to sell and if any of you are interested I will give you first refusal. Thanks again ❤ xxx

BLUE VANILLA

Hey guys, so I have basically just been shopping recently and waiting for my phone to arrive. I went out last night with some of my school friends and had so much fun getting ready. Earlier in the day me and a friend went shopping and we each bought some makeup to try out. Lately, I have been looking at lipsticks it is the one thing I am quite iffy about. I usually just put on some sheer gloss or a lip balm and then I am good to go, but I know that Urban Decay are releasing a range of lipsticks consisting of 22 different shades and with matching lip pencils. Urban Decay is one of my absolute favourite make-up brands for eye shadow, they really do excel in this area they have the most gorgeous varied shades and they are incredibly pigmented and show up on all skin tones excellently, but I am not a fan of a lot of their other products. Their Moondust eyeshadows are too die for.

However, I am interested in their lipsticks and they are out in the UK on 5th August, I find it hard to get a shade suited to me so I am happy and excited to look at such a range. I have heard the formula is creamy and feels luscious on your lips and is highly pigmented. So I will let you know when I check that out.

So far, though, Rimmel has stood out for me in terms of their lip products. I love their Apocalips range, the applicator is the perfect shape and colours such as Galaxy and Celestial look amazing on all races, my friend bought Big Bang which is a strong red she literally only dabbed it cautiously on her lips and it came up really well, a great red. Their 1000 Kisses Lip Tint is incredible too, it smells and tastes amazing it's very subtle and consequently perfect for day wear and there is a handy little balm on the other end. I bought Galaxy Apocalips and the new Maybelline mascara, the plush one in turquoise packaging. It's a nice big wand which is my preference. I also got the matte foundation from Collection for £2.99 which I think is a great price, I got it in Almond and as I have oily skin I tend to only use matte foundations.

Finally onto the title of this piece as my phone arrived today I shot off to all the high street shops looking for pretty, relatively inexpensive cases and found a bright pink one with white butterflies from New Look. While I was there, a stand caught my eye with the loveliest clothes and I picked up a pretty red dress and twisted the tag to read Blue Vanilla. From what I have seen in New Look their clothes are fantastic they are fun and fancy as well as cute and quirky you could wear them during the day or on a night out, their pieces are so versatile. So I really recommend them, I love wearing white in the summer as it reflects heat it is also a pretty colour to wear in the sun and Blue Vanilla had halter tops, lace embellished shirts and flirty flippy little dresses.

This is the dress I got and I absolutely love it I would wear it every day if I could. Thank you for reading and I will post more soon, I promise. In other news I am on Instagram my username is kiranjeetkaur19 so follow me if you like if you comment on any of my posts I will happily follow you back. Lots of love xxx

Self-esteem. A bit of a personal rant.

Hello there, my sweethearts, I know I promised to continue Paris but writing about it and looking over all the pictures is making me pitifully nostalgic if I could beam myself back there I would. In a heartbeat. However, I promise to finish it and all some lovely, atmospheric snaps, cross my heart. In the meantime, I thought I would just fill you in with what is going on in my head today. My mind over the past few days has been preoccupied mostly with envy and body-image.

As you all know I have just started a YouTube channel and it scares the absolute crap out of me, all of my self-esteem issues have suddenly just rushed to the fore and I am scared people will rip me to shreds. It takes a lot of guts to put yourself out there so I admire anyone who can do it with the confidence and grace I have seen from some YouTubers. I look upon you with awe. And envy.

I am sure we all get it, when you're scrolling through your news feed, or passing people by in the street or even when you're having a much-needed catch-up with your friends. At least for me, I am not ashamed to admit that I get a little jealous sometimes, not in a cruel way, but I have constantly been the type of person who sees one good thing in everybody. You name any person on the planet and I would be able to find a good quality or feature that I could ascribe to them and that's not due to being born in a cripplingly polite household (the opposite actually) but simply because I believe it. I might have high standards when it comes to looks but I have never found anybody on the planet, even those few people that I dislike, ugly.

Getting back on topic though, as a psychologist, this envy intrigues me greatly. It baffles me when I realise other people feel it too. For me, because I know my own mind better than anyone else's, I can to an extent pinpoint my issues. I have always been insecure, whether it be because I wear glasses, or am naturally shy, and not nearly as confident as the people I surround myself with I genuinely have no idea. I just know that when I look in the mirror, I don't think there is a single part of me I wouldn't change if I could. I am not talking anything drastic, I would never go under the knife for fear they would muck up irreversibly and I would end up with half a nose or something. Rather, little things, like my elder sister has really big eyes, lovely, bold and brown, and they are the first things you would notice about her. I have always been a little envious of this, and in the same vein my little brother has outrageously long eyelashes which I would love to be the owner of myself. It takes me several coats of Chanel mascara to have the same effect.

You see, they aren't big things and I know it's been reiterated that as humans we are simply programmed to want what we can't have at all times, but I am not buying it. I feel like I have met people who seem perfectly comfortable and at home in their skin and that is a feeling I envy most of all. When you think of all the time wasted wishing you were someone else with clearer skin, bigger eyes, longer lashes and legs, it's actually quite ludicrous. I have no idea how to change it though, whenever I am depressed I seem to dwell on these things and of course I get a little upset until in despair when I come to the realisation over and over again that lamenting it isn't going to change anything I get fed up and declare that I am over it.

This bugs me, this endless cycle, because I know I wasn't always like this, as a child I was as uninterested in looks as my father is in MAC cosmetics, I couldn't have cared less, I thought it was obscene the amount of money people fritter away carelessly on fancy designer garments and high-end cosmetics. Evidently all this has changed and I think it's quite beautiful in a way, the confidence a lipstick or mascara can give you, yes it's superficial but if it makes you feel good and you aren't hurting anyone, what is the harm. No one can begrudge you that happiness, temporary though it may be. I got to the point where I was ruminating over how unexpected my shift in attitude towards appearance altered so drastically and I think I finally pinpointed it.

 One day in class, I was about nine or ten years olds. The teacher asked us to write five things we liked about ourselves, at this time I was already having trouble. I have always been smart, not so much now, but as a kid the simple stuff like fractions and addition, multiplication, reading etc came as easy to me as breathing so I tended to find school quite boring. I wasn't gifted or anything, I just spent a lot of time with my older sister and it seemed to have paid off without either of us noticing. Around this time my Great Grandfather died and although it wasn't utterly unexpected considering his age it knocked me for six, this was the first time I had ever been confronted with mortality and it terrified me. I just wanted to know where he was and I started to get a little anxious and restless at school so I would usually just stay at home or go to my Nan's when I could. This day though I was there, and at first I struggled to complete the assignment, but eventually I wrote down a few things, like my hair and teeth, my eyes were okay but I didn't have good eyesight so I reluctantly put that down as my third thing. And then I was stuck, hopelessly stuck, I just couldn't think of anything, it was pathetic but I was having a serious crisis of confidence. It wasn't just aesthetics, I couldn't name anything I liked about my personality either and it shattered what little self-liking I had.

I know now that's silly, but at the time it felt like a major deal and as soon as I got home I hid under my Dad's arm reassuring myself that it didn't matter if I was unattractive and uninteresting my parents loved me unconditionally. Luckily as I grew up, I started to notice that other people had their own confidence issues, everyone has areas which they are not totally pleased with, that is just life. I can't say I won't ever feel that way again, because as an insomniac I think obsessively when I can't sleep and just start listing things I want to change or improve about myself as a person and on one hand that is good, it pushes me to keep becoming a better person because I know I could do so much more. But on the darker hand, it can sometimes be soul destroying and extinguish any love you have for yourself. It can be positive to be critical but don't over do it.

I have never in my life wholly admitted to someone even the people closest to me in this world about my self esteem issues. Once when I was drunk in the first term of university and upset about something I spoke to a good friend a little about it and she basically told me I was being ridiculous. That was good in the sense it made me snap out of it, I liked her and wanted her to be my friend so I just brushed whatever was bothering me under the carpet I didn't want her to think I was making stuff up for attention or that I was pathetic (which admittedly after reading this post I am starting to feel like it haha). But alternatively, we meet so many people and judge them instantly. Label them as people who have always got what they wanted and have never had anything bad happen to them at all. And that is what is ridiculous, someone tweeted me saying that "The brightest smiles often hold the saddest secrets" which is a more poetic way of saying "Don't judge a book by its cover". Everyone's feelings are valid.

So please, promise me, that if anyone ever confides in you about anything to do with their body-image or self-esteem or really anything personal, just hear them out. Sometimes all anyone needs is someone who will listen and maybe offer up a hug and a hot drink afterwards. It's not hard. And remember that even though maybe you don't like what you have, someone out there will. We are all unique and are tastes are so varied, so in the end everything will be okay and if i have depressed you immensely with my tirade please watch an episode of The Simpsons and just forget I ever said anything. Thank you guys.

Paris: Day 2.

It was quite a chilly day, and rain was forecasted so I wore a dress with tights and packed my cardigan into my TopShop handbag (which I got on sale). We rose bright and early and did all the fiddly things like showering, dressing, make-up etc before heading down to breakfast where we saw the cute British guys again and flirted a little. Breakfast was good. We had a choice of two different type of cornflakes, one was fruity and the other was more chocolate based. There was a pitcher of unlimited orange juice, you got a bread roll with a sachet of margarine and jam. Plus, unlimited hot chocolate and coffee. I detest coffee even the smell is utterly repulsive to me so I had three cups of hot chocolate which wasn't as tasty as the hot chocolate I recall from the French trip we took in Year 8 which was undeniably delicious, but was still sweet and edible especially as I poured half a cup of sugar into it. 

We wanted to cram in all sorts of sights but essentially the only thing we actually managed to cover was the Louvre. We set off for the Eiffel Tower because we knew how to get there pretty easily and then we walked across the Seine thinking we would get a boat tour because everyone had encouraged us to do this back home. We bought tickets to the Batobus which stopped conveniently at all the landmarks in Paris like Musee D'Orsay, Champs d''Elysees etc but before that we spied a gorgeous old green and cream boat that would take us to Montmartre and as we made polite, basic French converstaion, we both made a mental note to definitely do this if we had time. Also, after said conversation we hi-fived like total plebians congratulating ourselves on our first proper French conversation in Paris. Go us!

So we got on the Batobus, which was a nice, simple boat with clear windows and an area where you could sit outside too. The first stop was the Louvre because we had no idea how long we would spend there and we were both so excited to go. I thought the queue would take forever so it made sense that we would go there first. As we stepped off the boat and walked into the direction everyone else was walking in (informational social influence if you're interested, I'm a Psychologist, sorry, I can't help it) we saw the most lovely stone buildings with enormous lions by the entrance, I wanted to curl up and take a picture with me in the lion's lap napping but there were quite a few people milling about. Ieva and I both fell irrevocably in love with the place, it was huge and as we walked underneath the arch admiring absolutely everything we fell a little more. We saw the pyramids, which I dislike, they might be iconic but they definitely detract from the historic feel of the place. We spent an hour crowding around the replica of the Arc de Triomphe taking pictures from every possiblee angle. Eventually we joined the queue which snaked past the fountains, and a cute French guy with oversized sunglasses and the American flag emblazoned on his shorts was blasting music and being obnoxious. 

In the queue, which didn't take nearly as long as we imagined, we looked up at the statues and tried to guess who all these famous French men were, we moaned a bit about sexism (no women were immortalised, assholes) and then decided to give them all personalities and conjured up mini biographies for them. Behind us, were three Americans from the Deep South discussing politics and Raegan. One of the guys was in full out biker gear and can I just say, I admire that man's confidence. He was a dude. 

When we finally got inside and got our bags checked, we went down the escalator and queued for tickets despite not needing any. The place was huge, and we didn't have any maps or anything, there were so many exhibitions advertised that I didn't know where to start, but Ieva wanted to go see the Greek sculptures so we went there first. Long story short, we saw a myriad of sculptures including the Venus de Milo and we learned all sorts of interesting facts like they still to this day don't know where her arm is, we ogled al of these sculptures and Italian paintings, Islamic pottery and scripture, there were wonderful mosaics and in some places the ceilings were a work of art themselves, Egyptian scrolls, and of course we saw the Mona Lisa, though again wasn't that impressed. I did feel quite cool to be able to say that I had seen it though. 

Four hours or so later when we had had our fill, we hopped back on the bus and went to Notre Dame. Researching prior to the trip we had discovered a bookshop called Shakespeare and Co which was said to be a highly recommended hotspot in Paris. As Mass was occurring when we got to Notre Dame we went in search for the bookshop instead, starving we ate on the way. I devoured a cheesy hot dog and a nutella soaked waffle, it was pure heaven. We asked for directions and got talking to some street artists who were so talented and realistic in their sketches of people, and we also had a stilted conversation with a kind old lady painting for pleasure at the edge of the Seine, she was lovely. You could see the kindness radiating off her face, she was so sweet and helpful, modest too when we flattered her painting. 

The bookshop when we found it, had a queue outside, but next door to it was a Rare Book Shop so we dallied in there for a while poring over old books and gasping when something was as old as trees. Shakespeare and Co is amazing though, it's a bottle green shop with gold lettering. Inside it is chock full of books, they are everywhere and it is breathtaking. It can feel quite claustrophobic and even more so when you up the narrow, creaky stairs to the library section but there are cosy places made up for you to sit, there is a piano and typewriters, it's like you have stepped into Dickensian times. Strange and unexpected to find in Paris, the only flaw of this otherwise perfect place is that it is so well-known. It would be more impressive if it was self-discovered and secretive but it is fabulous. 

After the bookshop we wanted to go to Notre Dame but it closed early for some unknown reason so we planned to go to Saint Chapelle instead which I believe is the oldest church in Paris. We approached a kind man on the street but he distracted us with bird seed, literally, he was handing it out to random passers by and they would hold their hands up and birds would fly and peck into their hands while we all gazed at them mesmerised at the beauty this world has to offer. I was thinking of Beauty and the Beast the entire time and it made me fall in love with Paris even more. So we didn't go to the chapel, but there were lots of stalls full of cheap french books that Ieva couldn't keep away from. After she bought her body weight in Dumas novels we each got a Subway and sat on the bench in the sunshine, feeling like we had lived in Paris all our lives, it was most certainly a Kodak moment. 

Eventually, we came to the realisation that we had to do something with our time here. So we settled on going to the Champs d'Elysee to scope out the lay of the land so we would be aware of what we were dealing with when it came to Wednesday. Back on the Batobus, we journeyed to our next destination this time standing outside and taking videos, admiring all the bridges and buildings. The first shope we went to was Disney and I purchased a Belle mug and a large Disney nightgown thing. And then for the first time ever I went to Sephora and I never ever wanted to leave. I had my heart set on finding the Princess Jasmine Storylook palette because it would make my life complete but apparently it is solely an American thing as none of the staff had a clue what I was on about. I did, however, find a Chanel lipstick which was like my lips but better basically and it is called Scenario (83). We went to many more shops, like H & M and Zara and we saw a group of guys dancing in the street which was entertaining to watch especially when they started body-popping. 

It got quite late by then, it was around eleven and dark so we decided to head back. It was beautiful walking at night, with all the lights twinkling we had no concrete idea of where we were going and even though we both had stabbing pains in our feet it was worth it. We walked past lots of pretty, luxurious and heart-clenchingly expensive shops, gazing at the sumptuous window displays was a great distraction from the weariness of our feet. When we saw the Eiffel Tower all illuminated and glowing I think it hit us both that we were in Paris, and well life doesn't get much better than that really. It was such a defining moment for me, I don't think I have ever been that happy since I was a little kid. We took some posey pictures both just high on life because usually we are both camera-shy, but a photo was needed to commemorate that moment. 

Miracle of miracles we managed to find the hostel without the help of maps or relying on the kindness of strangers fir directions. We found it all by ourselves, which makes me really proud. I didn't think we would ever be capable of that, but by this point I was surprised we were still alive we were being so careless. As we got in and unwound, we met the new girl that was staying with us. Her name was Camille and she was from Bordeaux, she had an adorable accent and was here in Paris to go see the exams she would have to take next year, she planned to go to business school and was a really nice girl, calm and quiet, she adores her twelve year old sister and works incredibly hard. I hope she gets everything she wants. We didn't go to sleep until about 3 in the morning even though we were shattered, I just love meeting new people. It brings me joy. Again, I'll add pictures later and I will finish the rest of my Paris Diary tomorrow. Thank you for reading, comment or contact me in whatever way, if you follow me on Twitter I will follow you back. Hope you are all enjoying yourselves.

YouTube

Hello, so I did as was promised. I have created a YouTube channel and uploaded my first video, please watch it for me and like/subscribe/comment. That would be utterly fantastic, any support at all would literally mean the world to me so please if you care at all, show some. Thank you. I will post the link to my channel and my first video below. I also have started a vlog channel except I tried putting up the Paris videos but the sound for some inexplicable reason isn't working. I will endeavour to fix this as soon as possible and will inform you when I have. Thank you. Please check out the video and let me know your thoughts that would be incredible. I will do the rest of my Paris Diary tonight so it should be on here by the morning and then I will do a Paris haul video and blog post tomorrow.

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/kiran94ful

My first video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62XjRfCFPog

Thank you! 

Oh and here is my new twitter: https://twitter.com/KiranK94ful

New Plans!

Hello, my sweets. So I have officially decided to suck it up and start getting creative. There is so much I want to do and I can be shy and wallow in the corner effectively pissing my summer away or I can get up of my ass and take action. So first step, I created a new Twitter account because underneath all this bravado I don't want anyone in my life to know about this online identity at least until I am sure I am not getting destroyed by keyboard warriors.

My name is @KiranK9ful and I would appreciate it if you would follow me, it would make my year let alone my day. I will post a link at the bottom for ease of access. I have also decided to start with YouTube because damn it, it looks like fun and what harm can it do? So please support me if you give the tiniest damn about it, if not, I apologise for bothering you with the internal struggle I have been battling with for the better part of two seasons. It would give me endless joy to have your support. I will upload my first video here, which is bound to be a shambles and then I will post a link to a vlog channel which will contain a lot of my Paris videos. I will post about the rest of the Paris trip tomorrow. Sorry for the delay, it's just been hectic meeting friends and everything. So thank you for reading.

Here is my profile: https://twitter.com/KiranK94ful

Thanks so much. Happy Tuesday! And now I am off to eat dinner, which is a Peri Peri burger and fries. Yum :)

Paris Diary ❤

Day Un.

Like all accounts I feel I should start at the very beginning, as in why we even decided to go to Paris in the first place. The idea first came into being during the Easter holidays, my friend Ieva who is a total label-whore but I love her anyway is obsessed with this French designer brand called Lancel that from what I can glean specialise in bags and the like. Ever since she was twelve years old she has pined over this bag and wanted to be its possessor, unfortunately it has always been outrageously expensive. Until, of course, a sale.  So she looked into it and discovered there would be a sale and she could order it online but to have it shipped to Lithuania (her native country) from Paris would cost a small fortune. And coincidentally a small fortune is exactly the same amount of money that would be required for an impromptu holiday. She proposed the idea to me, and instantaneously I concurred. Impulsive decisions are always my undoing, but I have wanted to go to Paris for most of my life and was incredibly excited by the prospect. Although, I couldn’t give a shit about this apparently life-changing, mouth-wateringly beautiful bag that resembles a marshmallow (which is my theory why she has coveted it so much); I do give a shit about going to Paris.

A few weeks before the alleged sale we started planning, we booked three nights at Aloha Hostel online and purchased return megabus tickets from Coventry Canon Park to Paris. It was all surprisingly simple. We planned what we wanted to do there, we found a myriad of things and then being brutal we slashed through some that we wouldn’t have time for. We were very ambitious, trying to fit eighteen things into three days and naturally not all of them were actualised.

On Sunday morning, we were scheduled to leave at quarter past six so we could reach Canon Park in plenty of time before our ten past seven coach. In preparation for this and the twelve hour journey ahead of us we opted to skip sleep and watch movies set in Paris instead. WE watched Pink Panther and practiced our own French accents, we had tea and packed and repacked and then packed again. We got to the coach station stupidly early and already hungry we indulged in some Galaxy cake bars. They were damn tasty, even if it was early.

The coach arrived and we sat together, even though in my experience from travelling to Amsterdam by coach, you should always sit by yourself when you are travelling for longer than a few hours. We arrived at Victoria Coach station in London a couple of hours later and went in search of hot food, we came to a café and had sandwiches. The coach trip to Paris was fairly uneventful, we discussed everything that was going on in our lives and infrequently napped, Ieva listened to her mp3 I gazed dreamily out of the window until we arrived at Dover.

We had missed the ferry. I love ferries, and am always unduly eager to board one, I love the rockiness and the smell of the sea, you just feel so fresh on the deck, utterly rejuvenated.  Instead, we crossed the channel via the Eurotunnel which meant we did not get a chance to stretch our legs at all. It was fine, a total of thirty five minutes so although there wasn’t much to look at, at least it was efficient. When we arrived in France, we looked eagerly at the scenery and all we really saw was a whole lot of green which was nice in its own way and then I shamelessly eavesdropped on the two girls behind us who both led very interesting lives. One girl was talking about how she had ran away to join the circus and that the circus was big in France, she had fallen in love with someone’s cousin and time apart was hard but she was very glad to be seeing him soon. The other girl had just graduated and was going to stay with her friend in Paris, she had an interview so she was only stopping for a few days and was very nervous. It was very entertaining.

Soon, Ieva alerted me to the Eiffel Tower and I forgot all about the girls behind me and concentrated on not squealing in delight like a two year old. We reached Porte Maillot Coach Station at seven in the evening and as we left it started to drizzle but not too much. Ieva had written out directions to our hostel and we planned to walk there even though in hindsight this was a crackpot idea. As we left the coach station in search of a street name we might recognise we came across a tiny, pretty building with gates. It was simple but appealing from the outside, and like dutiful tourists we snapped a few pictures and then I ventured inside to discover it was a chapel. A truly gorgeous chapel with stained glass windows, flickering candles and a marble Jesus on the cross. It was lovely, quiet, peaceful and echoing. I fell in love with this little chapel. A woman was there, praying intently she looked like she was in despair although maybe that was my imagination running amok. I like to think she was earnestly repenting and her piety would soon be rewarded. I am not religious by any means but this chapel made me wish I was.

Eventually after taking dozens of pictures and tiptoeing quietly around we left dragging our suitcases silently behind us. It started to rain and by rain I mean pour, we were being assaulted by the skies and not to put too fine a point on it we were miserably lost so we asked for directions. One woman sent us in the wrong direction so we asked another and she was extremely helpful even though she herself had no clue she would ask others. A guy with an iPhone Google-mapped it for us (Thank you God and Steve Jobbs) and we went traipsing back in the opposite direction at which point we saw the Arc de Triomphe from a distance and “fan-girled” for a couple of minutes.  We saw lots of tall, beautiful champagne and pastel coloured buildings that reminded me a little of Prague so of course we clicked away with our cameras, and by then I was desperate for the toilet so I went to a little café and practiced my limited French. The gentleman was very kind and I took ten minutes to freshen up.

We found the Eiffel Tower in due course and went crazy tourist for a good half an hour, with our suitcases we were easy targets and the dark skinned men with Eiffel Tower replicas on key chains pounced on us, but we just shook our heads and soldiered on even though some of the deals they were spitting out at us were quite tempting, one Indian gentlemen even offered one free as a gift which scared the shit out of me but amused Ieva to no end.  We walked far and then we walked a little more, we got lost a couple of times, we asked people directions, luckily the weather had cleared up nicely and we were fine, enjoying Paris. When we finally reached the street of our hostel we were exultant, we honestly didn’t think we would actually find the hostel it took us a good three hours but we definitely felt like accomplished human beings. Proper adults. It was a heady feeling. I think we were high on a sense of independence.

 At about ten pm we reached our hostel and our feet were dying. The man behind the counter was nice but he was very busy he told us to dump our stuff and go get something to eat so he could check us in when we returned, so we dumped our stuff I changed out of my boots because they were pinching my toes and we met two cute British guys in the storage room. We left and it was dark, we had passed so many places for food on the way we knew we wouldn’t have to walk far, we settled on a small Italian restaurant with red checked table cloths and wine already displayed proudly on the tables. We ordered hesitantly in French, Ieva had ham salad and I had Bolognese and Coke. It was good. We got lost on the way back to the hostel even though it was a mere street away and the sense of independence faltered but we found it in the end.

The man behind the counter had changed but he gave us everything we needed, our key cards, freshly laundered sheets, a few maps, times for breakfast etc. Our room number was 32 and we couldn’t find it so we asked the man again and he informed us it was outside so we went outside and trudged up to the highest floor. Our room was nice, there were two bunk beds, a sink and it was situated right next to the bathroom and shower which was handy. The only problem was it was already occupied by three girls whom we easily made friends with. They were all lovely and one tiny girl called Inka who was actually twenty-seven realised she had been in the wrong room all along.

Eventually, after washing and changing we crashed into bed. Ieva slept on the top bunk and every time it squeaked I had a mini heart attack. We planned to get up at seven in the morning eat our fill and then do some serious sight-seeing. There is no rest for the wicked.  I will upload pictures and videos later. Thank you for reading. Je t’aime beaucoup.

Birthday Haul

Firstly, I apologise, I haven't done many posts and that is because I have been to Paris (more about that later) and then immediately after returning I had to pack up all my stuff from university and drag it all home. Since I have been home, I have been looking for a job and Skyping friends that I am already missing and meeting old friends I haven't caught up with in a while. So all in all, I have been pretty busy. On top of this, I had so many ideas for ensuing blog posts. I wanted to do a Paris diary but my phone is being difficult about letting me import pictures/videos on to my computer, but I promise to sort this all out shortly. No more excuses. In the meantime, here is my birthday haul. It was my first birthday away from home and although the majority of my extended family gave me money and chocolates (always welcomed by the way), I thought I would do a little post celebrating what I did get.

I already posted about this, but my sister bought it for me in London, it was £25 from Topshop and I adore it, I think it is one of the best crop tops I have seen. Seriously, check the out they have so many different styles and although I tend to favour the more casual varsity ones, I really do love this one, if you pair it with the Mom jeans it literally shows just a strip of stomach so it is incredibly flattering as well. A great confidence boost.

Obviously the next big thing is that I went to Paris, my beautiful Mama paid for my hostel essentially and all the money I got went to my little spending packet for the romantic city. I will do a day by day diary play on this blog very soon, as soon as my mobile starts co-operating. It will contain all sorts of interesting historical facts about the places I visited so I am sorry if it will be a bit boring, but in all honesty it's more for me than it is for you. I don't want to forget a single moment of it.

My Aunt got me this Soap and Glory box, which contains all sorts of amazing little goodies. Including hand cream, moisturiser, body butter, shower gel, bubble bath and of course the crucial body scrub. I haven't had time to test out each product and fully appreciate this gift but it is right up my street and in the coming days I will right a review/first impressions of it. I have never owned any products from Soap and Glory, in fact I have only just recently heard about them so I 'm excited to try them out.

My mother very sweetly got me a cosmetics holder and this isn't an actual picture of it because mine is still in the box, there is literally no room to move anything in my bedroom it's just full of bags and suitcases and handbags stuffed full of bits and bobs, I feel like I am living in a hostel, but I will rectify this.

 I also got a Benefit make up brush set which consists of 7 different brushes which are all super soft and lovely to use. I am a Benefit enthusiast, I love all of their products and swear by their Hello Flawless foundation. In the brush set there is a powder brush; an angled contour brush; foundation brush; eyeshadow brush; angled flat top eyeshadow brush; and an angled liner brush. In addition to that I got Maybelline Gel Liner, which I have heard is the easiest to use, because all my life I have struggled with eye liner I always seem to get it wrong and then proceed to have to cover it up with excessive amounts of glitter. I got lots of other little things as well which I love including perfume, which I never buy for myself so it is always nice to receive as a gift. I got the Sigma Paris palette which I will do a review and some tutorials of, I got two new dresses, an overnight spa day, and a pair of cute black ballet flats from River Island with a gold bow which were £25.

The two things I am extremely excited about are this makeover for Unique Studios, which was £50 and includes going to a posh salon in London that is frequented by lots of stars such as Mylene Klass and Victoria Beckham etc (not Rihanna, I know, but I can deal) you get a makover, a professional haircut and a day of pampering with champagne on ice, you get to dress up all fancy and have professional photographs taken which you are allowed to keep at no additional price. My friend Paige and I are going to do this, most likely in September, it sounds like a lot of fun.

The next thing is a make-up master class which is in Birmingham, you get skincare tips and tricks, you learn how to apply false eyelashes and you get taught by a professional how to do evening looks and what suits each face etc so this will come in handy when I finally get the stones to start
a YouTube channel. This was £24 and one of my friends found the deal on Wowcher, what can I say they know me well.

So all this is coming up: Sigma Paris palette review/tutorials; Paris Packing because I only took my prettiest things to the city of love; Paris Diary including outfit and make-up of the day; Paris haul because let's face it I bought way too much and I am a sucker for all things tourist; and I am going to Risa in Birmingham on Friday so I'll do an "In My Shoes" for that. Please comment, and thank you for reading it's very sweet of you. Happy Fourth of July, guys. I'm not American but I am feeling the freedom anyway. Have an awesome day, the sun is shining and I have a tonne of stuff to do. Toodles.

The Great Gatsby and London

Last week, two days before my birthday my sister drove down to see me and whisked me away to London, one of my favourite places in the world. I love the city, it's always alive with activity and you can never run out of things to do. But most of all I love the fashion, everyone is so much bolder there with their garments and I feel like each individual has their own unique take on style and I love it. So obviously we went shopping, I bought a tonne of makeup and a pretty crop top from TopShop, we each bought a few maxi dresses from Apricot, we had a fancy brunch just outside of Westfield shopping centre. We had such a fabulous time, living like we were on the cast of Made in Chelsea for a day. It was brilliant.
Another incredible part of my day was seeing 'The Great Gatsby' in one of those gorgeous cinemas, with a ginormous screen, comfy leather armchairs and blankets to keep you warm. It was a stunning place and by far the prettiest production of any novel I have ever seen. I adore Fitzgerald, he is one of all time favourite authors, 'The Beautiful and The Damned' is his best book by far I believe and I really hope they make an adaptation of that. Although, I hear good things about 'Tender Is The Night' so I look forward to reading that after re-reading all the others. Apart from his books though. his lifestyle fascinates me, we talked about him in our captivating Lit classes last year (I miss those days) and it came to light that he did live an incredibly extravagant lifestyle and that he would turn out a new novel as quickly as possible so he and his glamorous wife could afford a new fur she wanted. I love that, I like knowing that his books are a reflection of his own life and his relationships.
I have read 'The Great Gatsby' and I liked it, but I didn't fall into it and never want to escape. It was just nice, it painted a nice picture and story and then there was the romantic figure of Gatsby, so I was incredibly impressed by the film. It is very visual, and therefore less about the story because the novel is very slim. I disliked how it is told from Nick's viewpoint, because you don't get a full impression about Daisy and Gatsby's relationship, so in  way it lacks a bit of depth in that sense.
But, I just fell in lust with this movie, it was like sitting and watching someone else's dream for a few hours. Every scene was gorgeous and Leonardo DiCaprio was, of course, flawless. He has not let me down with any movie I don't think (I didn't care for Romeo and Julie much, though). He makes this film, he is fantastic, compelling and he definitely looks the part. So if you haven't already, please watch it, you will not forget it and I promise you it will exceed your expectations.

Being me, of course I paid attention to the make-up worn by the actresses and Daisy's was surprisingly soft and natural even on a night out it was a very soft brown and gray smoky eye, poreless skin
and perfectly coiffed hair. Myrtle's was much more noticeable with a red lip and full eyelashes. Every single aspect of this film was perfect, makeup, styling, acting, cinematography. Baz Luhrman did a tremendous job I look forward to seeing what he does next. Ad if you haven't listened to the soundtrack then you are crazy, I don't think any other film has a soundtrack that could compare. Lana Del Rey's song gets me every single time. Is there anything she sucks at?

In My Shoes: Thrice is The Charm

I am aware this is starting to read like a diary, so I'll keep it short as that wasn't my intention and hopefully my Sigma palette will arrive imminently and I can deflect attention onto that. I am so excited. The shoes in the picture are wedge trainers purchased from Primark for £18. I love Primark, it's three storeys of heaven. I picked them up because they were quite funky and I have no shoes like them. So today I went to this thing called Pop! which is something that goes on in the Copper Rooms here at Warwick university 7pm till 2am, the idea is you go circling (which if you are not familiar with the term is playing a whole load of drinking games with the goal being to get as hammered as possible, it can get pretty brutal) usually with societies, so I went with Mixed Netball, some of my friends go with Aerobics or Tennis or Polo. It's fun, you circle for 3 hours then for the next 4 hours you dance to cheesy classics and party the night away. But there is always a theme, so for this circle we had to dress as either something beginning with W or C, because the new social exec's names begin with those two letters. One girl came as Warwick Castle, which I thought was inspirational, another came as a Walkers Crisp packet, there was a World Cup, a condom, Where's Wally, clown, children complete with barbie dolls, teddy bears and exaggerated black freckles. I kept it simple as it was a last minute decision to go and went as a witch, essentially I borrowed a friend's tatty witch hat from the dozens of plays she has performed and plonked it on my head. I used the Theodora Oz palette for my eye make-up and wore all black.
I hadn't eaten before I left so I got quite tipsy quite early. I didn't do anything out of the box, but I did see this one guy that I met at the last Pop! I went to and it was incredibly awkward, considering the last time I met him I lost all my friends and had no way of getting home (regular occurrence with me, if you hadn't noticed). He was super sweet about it, willing to let me crash on his floor. But, I managed to get home in the end, and I thanked him via text and he kept asking me out and I just didn't text back hoping he would get the hint, but then he facebooked me and messaged my friend asking why I didn't reply and if she could please get  me to reply. It makes me sound like a cold-hearted bitch but I did just blank him, and pray that I never saw him again so when I did see him it was weird as fuck.
My friend and I left early to get a kebab because we were both starving, then went home to put my witch hat away (it was getting me into all sorts of trouble) we had a few shots of Baileys and then returned with the rest of our hallmates. We had a pretty decent night, but on our return one of the guys we went out with was being really awkward, I was drunk and the last time I was drunk I told him a few home-truths, again not painting me in the best light but I assure you I would say it to him sober and have frequently. I'm the kind of person that if I don't like you and you ask me I'll tell you, I feel like life is too short to be dishonest about things that in the grand scheme of things don't really matter. And I might have been drunk or sleep deprived but I am pretty sure he asked me on a date, and I think that is the most ridiculous thing considering not long ago he was chasing one of my best friends, but I must have imagined it because that is too surreal.
As posts go, that really wasn't very interesting so I apologise, thank you for reading the ramblings of a 19 year old clueless human being I am very grateful and now I am off to the post room, so my next blog can be about something other than my failure of a life. Speak soon, honey buns. Honestly, I have no idea if anyone even reads this tripe, but if just one person is reading then honestly I appreciate it. You're the best, whoever you are.

In My Shoes: Second Time

So today, quite a lot of stuff happened. Firstly, most importantly and by far the most exciting. I'M GOING TO PARIS! Me and one of my closest friends here at university impulsively started planning a trip to Paris during the Easter holidays when she was in Lithuania and I was in England. She desperately wanted this Lancel bag, and she discovered there would be a sale late June in gay Paris, and it would cost less for her to stay there, sight-see and purchase the bag than get it shipped to Lithuania. It's a fairly pricey piece of accessorising, but then the heart wants what it wants. And me, well I'll agree to anything as long as it sounds fun. But honestly, at the time I thought it was one of those things you always talk about but never wind up actually doing. I love travelling and have already been to France, it was one of the best weeks of my life, but I never visited the capital during my stay. Thanks to shows like Gossip Girl, I have fallen in love with the city without having been there, so I am so incredibly, unbelievably excited to go. We bought coach tickets and booked a hostel today, it took all of ten minutes and about £70 out of my bank account. I will be more than just broke by the end of the trip, but who cares? I was so excited, I had to order the Sigma Paris Limited Edition palette simply so I could we are it every single day we are there. Of course, when it arrives, I'll let you know my thoughts and any looks I have created that i am especially proud of. Might even do another video.
On to the next thing, typically now as we are all finished with exams we go out almost every night and tonight we opted for Kasbah which is a spacious club in Coventry. If you live near there and have never been then honestly you are missing out, not only do you get cheap drinks and plenty of different rooms with music to cater every taste but it also has the best smoking area by far. I don't smoke but so many of my friends do and it's a great way to meet new people regardless, I feel it's a bit more intimate than grinding on some stranger in a club. In Kasbah's instead of standing around aimlessly inhaling second hand smoke, you can buy drinks or pick up a delicious treat from the barbecue. Yes, barbecue, they have the best cheeseburgers ever, freshly made, onions, barbecue sauce, cheese, the lot. I always have two. Don't judge me. They are amazing. So yeah, go.
Before we left, it's customary to predrink or "prink". Honestly, I wasn't really feeling it, for me it is such an effort to get ready because it means I have to put contacts in and although sometimes it's fine, just stab stab, bam, a lot of the time it takes about 20 minutes, and I drop them or have to open another one because it just will not go in. It refuses outright. But I got ready, stabbed my eyes with my daily contacts, showered, messed up my room trying to find something to wear. I was quite lazy about it, I didn't straighten my hair, I donned patterned River Island black leggings and a cream coloured sleeveless, sheer, pearl-buttoned top which you could see my bra through but my hair covered that for the most part. I put on my make-up, totally screwed up my eyeliner so spent another ten minutes trying to fix that and failed. By that time I had given up and went downstairs to drink, because if I was going to have any chance of enjoying this night looking like a hot mess, I was going to have to be drunk.
Long story short, i did wind up having a great night actually. It took us forever to get a taxi, and we had to queue jump which was eye-wateringly expensive but we had a good night. I had two burgers, like I said, so this soaked up the alcohol and I didn't manage to get drunk. But the music and company was good, I danced like a crazy person, my hair looked tragic at the end of the night. And I met a really cute guy, a cute brown guy! Yay! I was checking him out casually while dancing and then forgot he existed as the song changed to something that had everyone twerking or tying to at least all over the shop. But then he bumped into me, and I was about to let him past, when he held my hand and asked me my name etc. He was really sweet, and not even the slightest bit drunk. So I just told him that he was cute and gave him my number, he bought me a drink but I was worried I would lose my friends so I went back, even though he insisted I dance with him. I hate giving guys the wrong impression, we didn't even kiss and that's the way I like it. I have never hooked up with anyone in a club and I don't really intend to, to be honest. It's just not my thing, I have nothing against it, but I guess I am just never the right level of drunk. I am either happy, dancing, screaming lyrics drunk (which is the most frequent) or catatonic, puking in taxis drunk (which has only happened once). I'm never gonna kiss you the life out of your mouth drunk. So that was cool, it boosted my confidence and I was on a cloud for the rest of the night. At least until he approached one of my friends later on while she was dancing next to me and whispered in her ear, and she blew him off, and I morphed into my cynical self and was like *hair flick* "Typical, what a tosser" etc. But after she blew him off, he hugged me and told me it was one of his friends that really liked her and was too chicken, I smiled and sail "Oh for a second then I was going to be insulted" but I didn't really trust him. So I asked my friend what he said, not letting on that he hit on me earlier, and she told me that he said one of his friends really likes her and the inside me was like "Yes!!".
I had a great night, I went home exhausted at about 4 in the morning and woke up with a text from him. I am not really sure what to reply yet. He told me he's travelling to South America now that his last year at university is done, so  I don't want to get too attached to his pretty brown eyes. Because they were, hand on heart, the prettiest, most lovely brown eyes I have ever seen and I'm Indian. I see a lot. More blogging soon. I love you all for reading. Thank you, my pretties and please comment, message etc.

In My Shoes: First Night

In order to celebrate my birthday, obviously I went out and as you would expect and I wore these River Island boots, they are my absolute favourite, they are so comfortable and give you a little bit of height without making it a struggle to walk like a boss. In typical Fresher fashion I had a slight YOLO attitude (and I know no-one says that anymore and they shouldn't have started) and decided to start drinking at around 2pm. I woke up with a phone call from my Mama saying Happy Birthday and ordering me to have a good day, it is the first birthday I have ever spent without my family so it was a little bit surreal.
My friends basically bought me alcohol for my birthday, or food. They know me well. I got a tall shot gloss with a personalised message on there, and many shots of vodka were consumed from that, let me tell you. I had Bailey's, orange coloured vodka, Lithuanian vodka, San Miguel, Jack Daniels, there was a quite a range. My friend Ali got me food at the local pub because he is a sweetheart and he wasn't going out with us that night.
To celebrate in true University of Warwick fashion we selected Jagermonster at Evolve in Leamington Spa, here we can get this thing called uni express which is a bus that takes you to the club at 11pm and picks you up at 3am. It's convenient and the ticket includes entry and queue jump. I drank a lot before we went and got ready obviously. I love getting ready to go out it is one of my favourite things, but my closest friend is so incredibly beautiful and she was wearing a crop top and shorts and looked stunning, her stomach is pancake flat so I didn't really see the point. Everything I tried on just wasn't up to scratch, but I found a pretty dress spent ages on my makeup trying to contour using blush, setting powder, four different eyeshadows, and testing out my new Maybelline gel liner, which incidentally is very good. I always feel slightly self conscious when I plaster myself in makeup, it's because I don't usually do it, but on nights out literally ten minutes in I'll check my reflection in the ladies and it will have disappeared or melted onto my face or something so I wanted to look nice.
I was done getting ready so I went to our common room, people sang, a cake was brought out and I was so touched because a lot of my friends still have exams so I honestly didn't expect a thing. I was just happy I had people to go out with, but then I blew out the candles and felt a little sad that I wasn't with my family. I felt like a grown up, celebrating my birthday without them. I swear, turning a year older never fails to make you philosophical.
So me, Ieva, and two guys called Brad and Dave came out. Dave is the sloppiest drunk, he actually becomes psychotic, not even lying. In the queue I hugged everyone, spoke to strangers and was friendly as fuck. I am the most affectionate drunk, I am basically me on a nice day, I smile and laugh and decide to make friends with everyone. I'm THAT drunk girl. When we get there, we chat, laugh, drink a bit more and then that is essentially all I remember. One second I was chatting to Dave and Brad and then the next I wake up in my bed, contacts still in. That's the second night in a row that I slept with my contacts still in, bad Kiran. I was still wearing my dress and tights, and my shoes were exactly like that on the floor next to my bed. My head didn't hurt, I felt really comfortable, my legs just felt strangely light when I got up to walk.
I still felt drunk until about 5pm. Though I tried to keep active, just chilling with friends, getting a bunch of stuff from the post room. I have never blacked out before and I woke up terrified of what I had done or said, because I could just feel it in my soul that I embarrassed myself, possibly even humiliated. Thanks to Facebook I got various concerned messages, the majority informing me that I was "soo drunk" and that I had passed out in the club and then in the taxi and that one off my friends thought I was going to die, and that I puked in a taxi and basically owe everyone a tonne of cash. I suck.
But on the positive side of things, I woke up and my makeup looked pretty good still, wish I had taken a picture now, promise to do so next time. Additionally, I did something I have never done before, that's not very fearless in the scheme of things but it's a start, right? From what I do remember, I had a great time and if you can't get drunk and chunder on your birthday without people giving you shit about it then when can you?

Birthday Time!

Truthfully, I have never really cared for birthdays, they are fun and you get cake and people are nice to you, that's all well and good but essentially you're just a day older than you were the day before and a day younger than you will be the day after. Age, now at least, doesn't seem to mean anything. I have never been fond of being at the centre of attention and I prefer to just slink away quietly in the corner and watch everyone else enjoy the spotlight. That's not about to change. I am 19 years old today and a little part of me is freaking out, it's as if every time I blink I get closer and closer to 20 and I hate it. It's not the ageing process that scares me, it's the fact that the years are just passing by so quickly and as I gain years I don't seem to gain maturity. Your birthday is like New Year's it's a chance to do stuff again, to start over and be a better version of yourself. But each and every time either of these milestones occur I always fail, when I got to university the first thing I wanted to do was reinvent myself, be the person I have always aspired to be, but pretty soon after the first week I felt myself slip back into old habits, it's just difficult to maintain a certain amount of effort at all times. I'm lazy. Might as well just admit it.

I think the predominant issue with this is that whenever I want to be or do something different it's always surface stuff, it involves spending and essentially is just a by-product of low self-esteem. Everyone has days when they feel a little bit low and can't help comparing themselves to their prettier, slimmer, funnier, smarter friends and it's horrible to feel like you are never going to match up. It's quite bold of me to say: I'm done with that, because in all honestly I don't think I'll ever be. I like pretty things and pretty (inside and out, I am not a shallow bitch who chooses her friends purely based on their looks) people, I wouldn't be friends with them if they didn't have great qualities. I have countlessly looked in the mirror and disliked what I saw, nobody is perfect and it seems as though everyone wants what they can't have.

Back to the task in hand though, I'm 19 and my exams are finished. I am still young, single and moderately sexy, and it's time for yet again another reinvention. My fresher's year is coming to an end and I have three weeks of stress-free fun in the sun (fingers crossed) so instead of overhauling my appearance, losing weight, purchasing the newest foundation or any of those other things that I would usually do to make myself feel better. Instead, this time, I am going to change my state of mind, it is time to be fearless and a little bit daring.
One of my close friends has always said to me that if you have the slightest bit of doubt or discomfort about something then don't do it, and I wholeheartedly agree with that. On the other hand, if you want to do something and you get that excited "I shouldn't but I really want to" fluttery feeling that kleptomaniacs get when they lift a nail varnish from Boots then I say go for it. Obviously, I am not talking anything illegal or harmful, I am not going to start dropping acid or going to orgies in the wood, fear not. But I do intend to do one thing every day without caring of the consequences, I want to maximise the amount of fun I have in the next three years because even if I have to retake my first year it won't be the same.

So for the next three weeks I will post an "In Her Shoes" profile, they'll be my shoes and they will probably be in terrible condition and if I can get a decent picture I'll include my outfit. And yes, I got the idea from Ugly Betty, I know it's finished but I am just so obsessed with this show, I could watch it all day, every day.


 In addition to this, I'll blog about my day and my new fearless attitude. Honestly, this will probably only last a week, because I only have so many shoes, but I'll keep you updated anyhow.

So Happy Birthday to me . . . Happy Birthday to me . . . and now for my first post before I have a long hot shower, hot because I am in it. Thank you for reading, if even one person is interested in this it would make my year. Please comment, get in touch, any and all feedback is welcomed.

Summer Must-Have Products/ May Favourites (Plus New Video!)

As the sun is making it's presence known, styles and go-to make-up products gradually begin to change, girls swap leggings for shorts and boots for sandals and wedges. Here are some of my favourite summer-friendly products. I'll also post my YouTube video beneath, if you are interested my YouTube channel is kirank94ful feel free to comment or subscribe.

1. Coconut Face, Body and Hair Beautifying Oil. £9
           I have already written about this, but since then I have tried to use it on my hair and didn't like the outcome at all, it made my hair feel greasy and I wanted to wash it again immediately, but then I did leave it in overnight. A friend of mine kept the oil in for two hours before rinsing it out and she was very pleased with the results so by all means try it. I, for one, am just not keen on using oil in my hair it just goes against everything I believe in, regardless of the benefits etc. However, it is perfect for the skin, it smells exceptionally good and gives a nice tan sheen to your skin whatever colour you may be, so you don't look too pasty while you're trying to soak up some sun rays.


2. L'Oreal Nude Magique BB Cream. £8

            I love this, I have it in Medium, I purchased this just a month or so ago and already I think I am almost finished with the bottle. I use it almost every day. It's quite sheer and yet build-able, it gives you that extra bit of confidence without making you feel like your plastered an inch thick in makeup, it's barely even noticeable it just makes your skin a little more even, a little bit prettier so when the sunlight reflects of it, thankfully it doesn't look strange. I hate the weird sweaty look girls have when they have a face full of makeup in hot weather. Not a good look, ladies.


3. Eyelash Curlers. £3
            There should be a trusty pair of eyelash curlers in every girls, or guys makeup bag, because they, my friend, are an investment. Curling your eyelashes properly takes very little time and effort and even less money yet the difference is immediately distinguishable. Squeeze thrice at the base, half way up and at the edges, then comb through your lashes and voila, instantly your eyes look more awake, they look brighter, prettier and more noticeable. Eyes are the window to the soul. They cost very little, I personally don't think you need to hot foot it to MAC to get one for £14 when you can easily get one for almost a quarter of the price in any high street ship i.e. H and M, Boots. But it is up to you. How simple is that?


4. Johnson's face care cleansing lotion. £2
           A simple, easy, effective way to take your makeup off at the end of the day. It makes your skin look and feel great. It leaves mine feeling soft and refreshed, the scent is lovely, there is literally no downside. Sometimes I dab a little on my face in the morning after I have washed it and it is still make-up free simply because this product genuinely just makes me this happy. I love it, and it is perfect for the summer, it's light and literally sinks into your skin


5. Sigma Resort palette. £34
           This is the perfect summer palette, for those of all skin tones. It is awesome, it has soft muted shades like Muse which is a matte grey, and bright, vibrant colourful shades that seem to pop up out of the package and scream "use me, use me!" Those shades are Midori, Neela, Papaya and Topaz. The palette also contains Fawn and Luna which are light, bright shimmery golds perfect for a Gatsby-inspired look. As well as the eight eyeshadows, you get a luminescent highlighter and a blush shade in a pretty pink colour called Heavenly. There is a double-ended eye pencil, one side is a bright turquoise and the other is an earthy brown, great for summer when you want to mix up the colours a bit, instead of going for the same old standard black.


6. Barry M Gelly Nail paints. £3 each.

              Nail polish for me has always been a must. I love these nail varnishes, primarily because of the colours. I adore the pastel trend this season, and have frequently been picking up new shades from this collection. My favourites are Lychee which literally looks great on anyone of all ages, skin etc, it is a nude shade; Papaya, which is a coral orange shade that looks great with anything denim; Blueberry is a great shade also, it reminds me a little of periwinkle blue and I love it on my toes, I love looking down and seeing a bright, pretty colour, it sounds silly but it makes me feel better. And last but not least the colour I have on my nails currently it's a lilac shade but it is called Prickly Pear, which I don't think I will ever understand.


7. Double Duty Clear Nail Polish Top and Base Coat. £4
            If, like me, you like your nails pretty and polished to perfection then please invest in some form of base or top coat it makes a huge difference. Before using it, my nails would chip by the end of the day, it was an ongoing annoyance, and although there are definitely downsides to using one of these there are plenty of up. You have to wait longer for your nails to dry at the end, the process of application is at least thrice as long, and it is a bitch to take off. However, my nail varnish lasts about a week now and is usually in fairly good condition towards the end still, which is a rarity. So it is definitely worth buying, it comes in really handy for when you're stressed and busy so don't have time to keep up the nail maintenance.



8. NYX Jumbo Eyeshadow Pencil in Milk £3
            I use this as an eyeshadow base, it helps when I apply bright colours especially to make them pop as in some cases, I find that some bright colours don't show up as well against my skin tone, so this is a way of counterbalancing that. It blends really nicely, you can just blend it on your lid with your finger and if you want to make your eyes look even brighter you can apply a little on the inside corners or even as a base for your brow highlight.


9. Heat Protection Spray £5
            I don't style my hair often but when I do I always protect my hair, I honestly believe that your hair is your crowning glory, so do look after it the best you can. If you're going to use heat then protect your hair, I apply Tresemme's Heat Protection Spray while my hair is still damp then wait for it to dry before straightening, I don't like using hairspray to keep my hair in place I just tend to pray, occasionally I will loosely spray some more at the end so my hair smells nice and not just like it's been abused with an ironing rod.


10. Lip Conditioner/Lip Balm £1-6

           A good one should cost no more than five pounds really. I have already shared with you the Lip Conditioner I purchased from The Body Shop and that is good, I use it a lot, but recently I found my old basic Nivea Lip Balm and it's like finding an old friend. I love that lip balm, it's perfect and it makes your lips feel totally smooth and summer ready. No one like chapped lips, they feel horrible, so just slick on some Vaseline, or Nivea Lip Care whichever is your favourite to give you that extra bit of confidence.





Oh, and my final must-have summer product is sunshine, if it won't come to you, you must go to it! I hope you all enjoy your holidays and if you're not going away I hope you enjoy the sun we do get. Thank you for reading and here is the video. Enjoy, feel free to comment, subscribe or get in touch with me.